If you’re looking for one of those “stay at home mom writers” with the perfect pictures of went-exactly-as-planned daily outings and non-GMO, organic, vegetables from her own garden, gluten free (deep breath!)…meals, you’re in the wrong place. You know, the blogger mom that somehow has endless hours to spend editing pictures, making homemade granola and stroll the aisles of Whole Foods? She swears she lets her kids be kids, yet their faces and clothes are clean in every picture. Not to mention how her whitest of whites pottery barn sofa is completely fucking stainless. And how does she get non-blurry, all of the kids are looking and smiling pictures, every damn time!? Is that Ralph Lauren China just out in the fucking open like that!!? Are her kids on Xanax?? Shit like that makes real moms, what I like to consider myself, wonder. And can also make fellow mothers feel inadequate and shitty about their own lives.
I’m the opposite. My house gets dirty, dishes pile up in the sink, clean dishes are used straight out of the dishwasher. Laundry gets left in the washing machine for 2 days then has to be re-washed. And every single time it happens I can hear my grandmother saying “you must be rich to be able to waste water like that.” Sometimes diapers aren’t changed until they leak through. I yell at my kids when I think I’ve reached my breaking point, then feel guilty the rest of the day. There are days when they eat chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Pooping in peace and quiet? HA! Most of us have 2 kids and a dog watching like we’re the newest release on Amazon prime.
You get it. Real stuff. Which is why I am saddened by how all of the bullshit pressures put on us women from society, mostly to sell things, have now trickled into fear mongering mothers or making them feel inadequate. just so some company can make a buck. Fuck this woman’s self-image, confidence in herself as a mother etc. etc. right? It has become so bad that instead of us mothers coming together to support each other, we’d rather compete over who can spend more money at hobby lobby to execute Pinterest pins better. Yet at the same time many of us are hiding issues as serious as post postpartum. All because we’re scared of being judged. Why do we even care?
Because we aren’t reading funny, uplifting stories on the social media sites we spend so much time on. Stories that let women know they’re not alone in wanting to get in the car and drive aimlessly as soon as their husband comes home, just to get out of the house. To let them know it’s ok to feel alone and crave companionship with other moms. Guess what? Sometimes I’m in my pajamas ALL day long too!
If more moms with a voice took a more realistic approach to their images, then the stigma wouldn’t be so bad. I get that some women are REALLY like that and more fucking power to them, seriously. By speaking out, I may only be a tiny dot in a large spectrum but a tiny dot is better than no dot. We all know the reality of the majority and it needs to be reflected more in the mainstream.
You’re probably thinking, If you know us Moms are short on free time then why is this piece so damn long? Sorry, I babble. Also, this is about to get real cheesy. Always know that as long as you do the best you can and your kids are happy and healthy…then you’re an awesome mom. From this moment on, stop comparing yourself and your life to what others portray themselves to be on Facebook. Matter of fact, take a break from social media. Most importantly, don’t forget to or ever feel bad about taking time for yourself. You cannot have a happy home if you are not happy. Now get off your phone, PC, whatever and go be the kick ass mom you are!
By: Natasha C.