Pulling Myself Back Together

I am back on my blog after a three-month break. Earlier this year I had a lot of family and friends reach out to me because of the unhappy tone of my social media posts about my personal life. I was allowing people and situations take control of my happiness. I lost sight of my goals, dreams, and more lost interest in the things that made me happy like working out, travelling, and blogging.

One night I was browsing through photos on my phone and came across a photo of a quote that read “This too shall pass.”

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At that moment, it hit me. I will not be feeling down forever. Later that night I wrote down three things I wanted to work on:

Stop letting people make me feel anxious over things I cannot control
I was allowing other people’s opinions about me shape how I saw myself. I kept asking:
“Am I good enough?”
“Am I worth it?”
“Am I pretty enough?”
“Am I a good person?”

I counteracted those thoughts with writing down:
“You are here for a reason.”
“You are worth it.”
“You are beautiful.”
“You are a good friend.”

Sometimes I felt like there were no valid reasons to feel anxiety. Never feel like your emotions are invalid and remember to give yourself time to reflect and refocus. You have the right to feel upset and angry but always remember that those feelings are temporary and happiness is always around the corner.

-Stop giving attention to toxic people
I was emotionally draining myself by giving my time to toxic people who were not appreciative of my time or my companionship. I was spreading myself thin to please people who did nothing to contribute to my well-being. My biggest weakness was hanging onto friendships that no longer made me happy. I allowed people make me feel bad about myself and spent time with people that left me feeling unloved. Now I focus on my positive relationships and remember who really cares about me.

-Focus on what makes me happy and write down what I’m thankful for
I had a lot of thoughts about moving back home and going back into my comfort zone of my friends, family, and familiar places until a friend called me and said, “You have an amazing job! I would not leave that place if I were you.” My friends asked if they could visit NYC with me and see where I lived. I began thinking of everything I did not have just two years ago: a stable job, an apartment of my own, my dream car, and the time to travel, coach rowing, and do volunteer work. I became thankful for my journey from a full time grad student with part time jobs to where I am now.

I could not have made all these changes without the constant support of my family, friends, and more importantly my rediscovery of my faith. Through praying, meditating, and learning how to control what makes me emotional I am slowly moving in the right direction. Just remember that when you are feeling like nothing is going right, just remind yourself “this too shall pass.” Everyday I wear a bracelet from MantraBand that says that as a daily reminder that everything is temporary.

-KC